let it go, let it be

"whisper words of wisdom, let it be" The Beatles were much more than a boy band pop sensation. They were legendary musical wizards. Their songs are not only easy and enjoyable to listen to, but they also hold a lot of truth. I listen to this song whenever I have a lot on my mind, and especially during relationship problems, romantic and non-romantic. Actually, we all need to let our lives be what they are. We often complicate our own lives by trying to control or shape them to fit our desires.

Today, I had a very awakening and eye-opening afternoon that sent me into deep thought during the evening. I met up with my high school English teacher, who I greatly admire and respect for lunch and a lovely chat in the nature park. He bluntly told me that I and many other people try to fix and change people to they we see fit. I have a friend who invests too much of her time in drugs and alcohol and is suffering addiction. I feel that it my responsibility to help her ween off of the various harmful substances she is consuming, and be there for her during her low points by doing small favors to make her life a little easier. But my teacher warned me that addicts cannot be trusted, no matter how kind of a person they are. If addicts need the money for drugs they will do whatever it takes, even if it means hurting people they know. My teacher told me I am something called the co-dependent. A figure that addicts use as tools to receive sympathy and pity and favors from. The only reason I help her so often is because I feel that if I don't help her overcome her addiction I would feel like I am a indifferent witness of a murder. I feel terribly about her situation and want to do everything in power to save her. The alarming truth I learned this afternoon is that the only person that can save her is herself. The more I try to preach a substance-free life the more drugs she will take. It is necessary for me to stop doing multiple favors for her because she needs to know how to take care for herself and realize that people won't always be there for her all the time. It is very important for her to realize that she either needs to change or she'll die. Change or die. Is what my teacher said her only options are. I almost teared up when he told me this dark truth. Knowing there is nothing that I can do to get her to change her ways immediately is what is bothering me the most. I hate seeing people in pain and misery, and I know that drugs are never the answer. I really want to make her see what I see, and live the way I do, but I know I can't. With all my close friends, there are some days where I could take a magic wand and be able to fix their problems, or make them into better people, by improving their lifestyles. But I can't. Today I learned I need to let people be and let go of my control to change and make everything better. By trying to make things better, I will end up making them worse. Sometimes the best thing I can do for people is absolutely nothing. The hardest things to do are the most necessary. Surrendering control of other people's lives is hard for me to do because my compassion for others is as deep as the bottom of the ocean, but the best service I will do for any of my loved ones is to let them fall sometimes, for they will learn how to not fall again and pick themselves up. By doing nothing, I am doing everything. Just like when babies learn how to walk, parents can't hold their hand every step of the way. The baby needs to learn how to fall and to learn how to pick themselves up again.

From this moment on, I strive to be more aware of my protective grasp over my loved ones. Awareness is the first step to enlightenment. As I finish this entry I am inhaling and gathering my control and slowly releasing it with my exhale. Let it go. Let it be.